Comfortable in my city

Have you ever had a thought that has just stuck with you for an extended period of time?  Everything you watched, read or heard seemed to apply directly to what had been on your heart and mind.  The theme of being comfortable has been bouncing around inside of me for the past few weeks.  Comfortable spiritually, personally, physically, mentally the whole package.  Comfortable in my role as an assistant pastor, dad, husband, employee, supervisor, brother, son, friend, co-worker.  Where am I in these roles?  Am I happy with these interactions?  Am I being Christ honoring in these roles and interactions?  I was listening to an old CD yesterday and ended up on a song I normally skip over.  These lyrics are not in full or in order but the ones that stuck with me.

I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don’t want to be safe tonight

I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
And if destruction’s what I need
Then I’ll receive it Lord from Thee

No one likes to be out of their comfort zone!  We work hard to be comfortable.  We like consistency.  We have walled up our lives so that we can feel safe where we are.  We are comfortable in the lives that we have built for ourselves.  It is in theory a fort.  We are not leaving and no one is getting in.  We are not moving forward, but we are not moving backward either.  As the song says these walls are built with pride and fear by our own hands.  Christ was not in this building plan.  He was not consulted.  Christ does not want us to play it safe or be comfortable.  He wants us working, laboring, moving forward.

The wall of pride is there so that we can point to it and tell everyone how hard we worked to build it.  It is the one that we walk past and it reminds us of how great we are, in our own minds.  It is a wall built by the flesh.  The other wall is a wall of fear.  The wall that was built because we were scared of what is out there.  What the world holds.  Rejection, embarrassment, persecution or Gasp FAILURE.  We have walled ourselves up into a comfortable place.  The only problem is, God is not in this structure.  We do not serve a God of pride, fear or complacency.

As the song progresses so does my state of heart and mind.  I am ready for these walls to be torn down.  I don’t want to be safe and comfortable in these self imposed walls.  Or we could call it a Spiritual Prison.  He can tear down these walls tonight, but first my pride and fear must be swiftly dealt with.  Pride normally trips me up when I don’t seek His guidance and do things on my own.  You can fool yourself and think that this isn’t pride, but it is.  I’m telling God, “I don’t need your help, I can do this on my own.”  That is pride!  I don’t verbally say it or really feel it in my heart, but my actions do.  Fear?  As children of God fear should not be an emotion that we ever feel.  Christ is with us, He has gone before us.  Instead of making Christ follow in my footsteps or walking side by side with Him I need to follow Him.

Are you comfortable tonight where you are?  Not moving forward, not moving backward?  God does not want you to hang tight until Christ returns.  I know how easy it is to get caught up in the day to day in our comfortable bubble.  Ask Christ to help you break down your walls today.  Whatever those walls are made of fear, pride, addiction, unbelief, sin – He can help.  I pray tonight that with Christ’s help these walls will be broken down and we can go forward for Him.

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