You know that feeling you have when you see a friend or family member struggling with a problem that you wish so badly that you could help them with? Seeing a couple struggle in their marriage or a family member struggle with health problems always puts that big knot in the pit of your stomach that just won’t go away. Multiply that feeling times one hundred and that’s how it feels to see your children go through struggles in their life. I’m speaking specifically about sin problems with our kids, sin problems that of course cause behavior problems that cause relationship problems that cause attitude problems (you get the picture).
No matter the age of your kids everyone has experienced this to some degree. I’m learning that it’s best to see these problems as sin problems because a. that’s what they are and b. it’s the sin that has to be addressed before the behavior can be. I’ve posted about this before. I’m not looking for a quick fix with our kids I want to address the root of the problem. When you see a child enter into cycles of sin like anger, pride, slothfulness, dishonesty, etc it’s heartbreaking. Our pastor recently made a statement regarding this saying that the embarrassment that you feel when you see these things in your child is nothing compared to the heartbreak that it causes you and I wholeheartedly agree. Although we may choose not to write about our children’s sin problems, please believe me when I say, we have no lack of them here.
As our children get older and we begin to see signs of resistance it’s easy to get angry, defensive, or just plain mad at them. When I make a request and I’m met with that slightly higher pitched voice my first reaction is to give it right back to them. It take everything I have to hold my tongue and know that I am the adult and I will not argue with my offspring. Nothing good can come out of that and most importantly that would be me sinning in return. But how easy a habit for us to fall into. David and I are in prayer daily about this.
Yes, it’s tough to see our children’s sin mature. It’s tough to not take it personally. It’s tough to be the older, more mature person and instead of reacting in the wrong manner (a sinful manner) trying to instead take the other route. It’s true we’re all born with a sin nature but it’s humbling to see our sin staring us in the face as parents. Our children will reflect our good as well as our bad, which one are the seeing the most of?
Join me if you feel the need in praying for patience, mercy, guidance, and love in dealing with our children. May we do nothing to hinder them from choosing to live their lives completely sold out to God, to reflect Him in all that they do, and to seek Him always.