The morning started off as usual. I was up before most everyone exercising, showering, reading some devotionals, and getting breakfast ready. I was thrilled that we still had juice left for breakfast that day and was feeling pretty ahead in the game. I knew what we needed to be doing in school, how I would occupy the little ones and what I would fix for lunch. Every day is not this well planned but praise God this day was going to start with a plan and that I was happy about. Everyone slowly made their way down for breakfast and I greeted them all with a “Good Morning” as they passed by to sit down. Breakfast wasn’t elaborate this day, just waffles with peanut butter and bananas, but everyone chomped away happily until he sat down to the table.
I tried to ignore his look thinking he was still waking up and hadn’t yet managed an agreeable look for the morning when the dreaded word with the chilling tone came from my son as he stared at his food.
I felt my blood pressure rise as I attempted to ignore his inconsiderate word hoping to achieve a peaceful breakfast anyway. Then a whole string of words about hating peanut butter for breakfast and not liking bananas and something about syrup came out in one hurtful blurry sentence. I was angry. What did we do wrong? Have we not spent nine years of our lives trying to teach this boy to be kind, respectful, thankful? And this, this is what I get by preparing him a meal, teaching him, loving him, everyday for nine years.
He knows immediately that he’s gone too far. You can see in his eyes that all he wants is a do-over but it doesn’t make me feel any better. He apologizes and eats his breakfast and I try to forget but the hurt never leaves as fast as it approaches.
I say extra prayers as I dutifully wash the dishes. I think of how I would have reacted in the past and how it’s a constant battle to calm the anger. He’s teaching me so that I can teach them. It’s a slow process. See, you think that you should have a head-start in all of this since you are the parent and all, but that’s not always the case.
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Ephesians 2:4